Self-Care For The "W. O. M. A. N." 101

Sister, please take good care of yourself! 

To all of us warrior women balancing the triathlon of motherhood, careers, and domestic jungles once again I say the Lord is our strength but also remember, you didn’t say “I do” to lose very yourself in the laundry pile or the corporate ladder. The real person who dazzled your partner into commiting to marriage with you is that he loved you for *you*—not just for your potential as a supermom or as a business guru. 

Yes, kids come with all their bundles of joy and truckload of responsibilities, bodies changes happen, exhaustion sets in, and all sorts of workloads could that squash a small elephant. But hey, it is paramount not sacrifice *you* on the altar of the endless to-dos!

It’s understandable to shift priorities, but let’s not vanish ourselves in the process. As much as possible, carve out a sanctuary in time for yourself. Whether it's a steamy bubble bath longer than your toddler's attention span or a morning jog where the only thing you're chasing is your peace of mind, keep that rendezvous with yourself sacred. Else, if you don’t, the person by your side—who promised to be there through thick and thin—might start wondering where the woman he fell in love with has vanished to. 

THE EVERYDAY "W. O. M. A. N."

Dear Woman:

● changes her name

● changes her lifestyle and sometimes identity.

● changes her home.

● leaves her family.

● moves in with you.

● builds a home with you.

● gets pregnant for you, most times more than twice and the pregnancy process changes her body forever.

● she gains weight

● almost gives up in the labour room due to the unbearable pain of childbirth.

● even the children she delivers bear your name...

A Mother's Untold Story

When a woman becomes prégnant, which is a difficult stage of a woman's life yet she had this confidence that after prégnancy she will be free and relieved.

After giving birth, nursing her little baby wasn't an easy job. 

She so much looked forward to getting past that stage as a bréástféeding Mom

The sleepless nights, anxiety, body pain and general stress was much to deal with but she said again "once my baby starts crawling and  moving around I will be free"

Finally, the baby starts walking and moving about

She heaved a a sigh of relief thinking it will be far easier but she was wrong again

Watching and monitoring the kids so they won't swallow pin or even hürt their selves while moving about becomes the job of the day

Toddler stage arrives and the shouting progressed

"Don't touch that

"Don't go there

"Don't put that in your mouth

"Don't climb

"Stop running around before you fall

"I will spank you if you tear that book, drop it back 

And then he tears the book and start giggling happily

You look at him unknowing what to do

You gather up the pieces of the mess and throw away.

They never stop making mess and you never stop cleaning.

You become worried when they're off to school and can't wait for them to be home and once they're home you can't stop shouting and threatening

Even your threats are taken for granted and when you spank them finally you will still beg them to stop crying.

Does any of this parenting stage gets any easier? You keep asking but the answer is not quite.

Interestingly she may have to have to repeat this process or cycle for as many times as she visits the delivery room.

No, it doesn't because even when they are grown and off to the university or even married their safety and good connection becomes another prayer points.

Just do your best and let God take care of the rest.

It doesn't get easier but it does gets better and sweeter ❤❤️❤️ 

A Peep Leak into the Life of an African Mother Like Me 🤱

Today I was privileged to record a short clips of how my kids and I roll everyday they come back home from school. Their dramas and tantrums and everything in between 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂.

HERE ARE SOME KITCHEN TIPS THAT MIGHT HELP YOU.

HERE ARE SOME KITCHEN TIPS THAT MIGHT HELP YOU. 

I guess you never know most of them 🤷

(1) If you don't want your seasoning cubes to get soft and start bringing out water....add garri to the container where you put your seasoning cubes. It will remain strong and fresh. 

(2) Don't throw away your left over pounded yam. Dry it and crush it. After its dried then use it to eat beans....its a great taste.

(3) if your pot of soup sour or changes taste. Put 2-3 pieces of charcoal in it and warm very well....you will recover the delicious taste of it again.

If your shoe is smelly....add piece of charcoal, it will absorb the smell.

Young Intending Couples Must Discuss What Works Best For Them.

Dear young unmarried woman. Please note that there are no norms or common practice or universally accepted way of doing marriage especially in this part of the world.

Whatever traits or beliefs that you've noticed in your intended partner that doesn't sit well with you, make sure you discuss it immediately and trash it out with modalities and agreements between you both as it suits the uniqueness of your relationship.

“I saw my mother be@ting my father” is not a norm!

“I grew up watching my mother kneeling down to serve my father” is not a norm! 

Best Marriage Advice EVER ... ✍🏾

Below are evergreen 'rules of advice' on how to prayerfully work out the marriage of your dreams 👇👇🙏

1. Choose to love each other, even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.

2. Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling. When possible, try to keep your phone off when you're together with your spouse.

3. Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the "currency of relationships," so consistently invest time into your marriage.

4. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage. Remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.

5. Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy. And even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.

6. In every argument, remember that there won't be a "winner" and a "loser." You're partners in everything so you'll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.

7. Realize that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It's usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.

8. Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it's nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it.

9. Remember that marriage isn't 50/50— divorce is 50/50. Marriage has to be 100/100. It's not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they've got.

10. Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you've given your best to everyone else.

Marital Romance: Reigniting the Spark

Table of Contents:

• Introduction • The Importance of Keeping the Flame Alive • Sparking Communication and Connection • Keeping the Passion Alive • Spontaneity: A Secret Ingredient • The Power of Date Nights • The Role of Fun and Laughter • Conclusion

Introduction

Every marriage starts with a spark, but over time, that spark may fade away into the abyss of daily routines and responsibilities. Marital romance is like a delicate flower that needs nurturing to bloom. So, let's dive into the world of rekindling that once fiery connection. Because who needs boring, monotonous relationships, right? Let's bring back the thrill and excitement into our lives! But before we jump into the how-to's, let's discuss why romance is significant and the benefits of keeping that fiery passion alive. Remember, a hint of sarcasm and a touch of humor go a long way in engaging the readers. Let the journey begin!

The Importance of Keeping the Flame Alive

Marriage, the land where love blossoms and passion thrives...or so they say. But let's face it, over time, the spark can fizzle out like a deflated balloon. Suddenly, those candlelit dinners and whispered sweet nothings are replaced with discussions about chores and mundane everyday tasks. Romance, my friends, is the magic ingredient that keeps the fire burning in a marriage. So, why is romance so important, you ask? First and foremost, romance is the glue that holds a marriage together. It brings excitement, joy, and a sense of connection. It reminds both partners why they fell in love in the first place. Without romance, a marriage can become dull and lifeless, much like a black and white movie on repeat. A strong romantic connection also comes with a host of benefits. It boosts happiness levels, reduces stress, and improves overall well-being. The more romance in a marriage, the merrier! Imagine batting your eyelashes and feeling like you're floating on cloud nine every single day. Ah, the bliss! On the flip side, neglecting romance can be dangerous terrain. It can lead to feelings of resentment, boredom, and even a wandering eye. Neglecting romance is like ignoring a plant until it withers away. Don't let your marriage wither away, my friends. Nurture it with love, attention, and a healthy dose of romance. Now that we've established the importance of keeping the flame alive, it's time to dive into the juicy details of how to reignite that spark. So buckle up, folks, because we're about to embark on a journey of love, laughter, and maybe a few whipped cream mishaps. After all, life is too short for bland, spiceless marriages!

Sparking Communication and Connection

Ah, marital romance! The elusive spark that seems to dwindle with each passing year. But fear not, dear reader, for I am here to guide you on the mystical journey of reigniting that long-lost flame. So, grab your partner's hand (unless they're holding a hot cup of coffee, in which case, wait for an opportune moment), and let's dive into the world of sparking communication and connection. Finding time for meaningful conversations is like finding a needle in a haystack, especially when you have busy schedules and endless distractions. But fret not, for where there's a will, there's a way. Try setting aside dedicated time each day to talk about your day, dreams, and desires. And no, discussing your favorite TV show while scrolling through Twitter doesn't count as meaningful conversation. Put those gadgets away and engage in some good old-fashioned face-to-face interaction. Remember, eye contact is not a myth! Now, let's talk about rediscovering shared interests and activities. Remember those hobbies you used to do together before life got in the way? It's time to dust them off and bring them back to life. Whether it's cooking, hiking, or playing board games, find something that both of you enjoy and make it a regular part of your routine. And for the love of all things romantic, please don't choose something that only one of you enjoys (I'm looking at you, golf enthusiasts). But wait, there's more! Trying new things together can add that much-needed spark to your relationship. And no, I'm not suggesting skydiving or deep-sea diving (unless you're into that sort of thing). It can be as simple as trying a new recipe together or exploring a different part of your city. The key here is to step out of your comfort zone and create new experiences together. Who knows, you might discover a hidden talent or a shared passion that reignites the fire in your hearts. So, dear reader, remember that communication and connection are the key ingredients for a successful and passionate marriage. Take the time to have meaningful conversations, rediscover shared interests, and try new things together. And don't forget to sprinkle some laughter and sarcasm along the way (because let's face it, life's too short to be serious all the time). Now go forth and reignite that spark like a flaming phoenix rising from the ashes of daily routines!

Keeping the Passion Alive

Let's dive into the fiery world of keeping the passion alive in a marriage, shall we? Because what's a marriage without a little sizzle and spice? Here are some key points to maintain that steamy connection with your partner. First and foremost, let's talk about embracing physical intimacy. And no, I'm not just talking about a quick peck on the cheek as you rush out the door. We're talking about making time for passionate moments that leave you both breathless, tangled in each other's arms. Take the time to explore each other's desires and fulfill those intimate fantasies that float around in your minds. Trust me, it'll light a fire you didn't even know existed. Now, let's venture into the realm of exploring fantasies and role-playing. Yes, I know it might sound a bit silly or even awkward at first, but trust me when I say it can take your connection to a whole new level. Get adventurous and step into different characters, allowing yourselves to indulge in the playful and seductive side of your imagination. Surprise each other with outfits, scenarios, and a healthy dose of imagination. Who said marriage had to be predictable, right? And finally, let's not forget the power of surprising each other with gestures of affection. It's the little things that count, after all! Leave sweet notes hidden in unexpected places, prepare a romantic dinner just because, or surprise them with a spontaneous weekend getaway. Show your partner that they're still the most important person in your life and that you're willing to go the extra mile to keep the love alive. So, dear readers, remember the three golden keys to keeping the passion alive: embracing physical intimacy, exploring fantasies and role-playing, and surprising each other with gestures of affection. With these tools in your arsenal, there's no doubt that the sparks will continue to fly in your marriage. Now, let's move forward and uncover the secret ingredient for keeping the flame alive: spontaneity. Because who likes a predictable and monotonous relationship? Not us! Stay tuned for the next chapter, where we'll dive into the thrilling world of planning surprises, creating spontaneous moments, and fostering a sense of adventure. Get ready to unleash your inner adrenaline junkie!

ADVICE FOR SINGLE LADIES OF MARRIAGEABLE AGES...

 

You sleep with every single man that comes your way. You can't even remember your total body count i.e the total number of men you've slept with 'premaritally'.

These men you sleep with will never marry you. Never. Even if one of such men eventually marries you, he may have done so out of his own selfish innate interest that he will never declare to you and it most likely will not end well. So why must you keep hurting yourself?

And if you even marry that same man. He knows you believe in and practice sex outside marriage. The next you have in that your marriage is battle after battle. Distrust between you two.

Let me add this, thinking you can change a man after marriage is a naked lie. No adult changes suddenly just like that. Marriage is a great magnifier. What you see is what you get.

You directly or indirectly neglected the good brother for the bad brother because he has money.  Pretending not to see the bad side of him, the womanizing part of him, the cheating part of him, the wicked part of him, the abusive part of him and the negative part of him.
You're only forcing your head into a tight cap that may never be the right fitting for you.

A Very Touching Story

 

*SO TOUCHING*

I receive more than 1,000 letters and mails every month, at office.

All of these letters and mails pass through my own hands.

I stay up all nights reading and responding.

After my promotion.

I had to move into a new office and take over some special duties, coupled with the ones I have already.

I saw written letters that were dumped somewhere inside the new office which no one has opened nor touched.

I wondered how the letters got there.

The envelopes used for the letters were very dusty. About nineteen letters from the same person.

It has same name.

Same phone number.

Same address.

Same request.

And same handwriting.

When our cleaners wanted to dispose them, I told him to bring them for me.

I opened and read one.

It was a letter written to the accounts and finance department of our company by a labourer in November 2019.

The letter was a request.

The worker was humbly requesting the head of accounts department to pay him, that he is critically sick and needs the money for urgent treatment. In the letter, he stated that he had hepatitis which affected his liver.

I read the second letter. It was the same request. Looking at the letters, one will know that it was written with tears. The drops of tears were still visible on it, since the letters were inserted in an envelope.

I read the third letter and saw the same thing.

I read the fourth letter and it was still the same request.

He has been writing and sending in letters since November 2019 and the last letter there was written on 10 August 2020, which the writer stated that the accounts department should have mercy on him and his family and unblock his line and answer his calls.

It was confusing.

Who blocks people's lines here?

I decided to call.

I used my phone and dialed the number on one of the letters I was holding, which was the last letter written on 10 August 2020.

It rang.

No one picked.

I dialed it again.

It ranged again.

Someone picked.

I spoke first.

“Hello,” I said, “Good afternoon.”

“Good afternoon.” a female voice answered. It was the voice of a middle aged woman.

I told her my name and where I was calling from.

She kept quiet.

I told her that I am calling to speak with the person who bears the name on the letters.

She started sobbing over the phone.

“He is lying down here.” She cried.

“Who?” I asked to reaffirm.

“The person you want to speak with.”

“Can I speak with him, please?”

“He can't talk again. He is only breathing. He can't move. He doesn't even know that someone is sitting beside him. I am his wife. We have been writing letters and calling but you people said we should not disturb you people again. Our lines was blocked. His money was withheld. We sent people to you people's office but they came back with nothing.” She cried, “We are just waiting for him to go and rest.”

I couldn't say a word.

I was just dropping tears because of the way she spoke.

She continued.